My Warrior, My Lover, My Best Friend
by Draco Malfoy is Blonde
Summary: Novella. Colin/Harry. Rated for Abuse, gore & Language. Colin Creevey has a greater purpose. Harry's so stressed this year, look at him! He's miserable, and Colin know's exactly what Harry needs to feel better; Colin. Split ending.
1. Chapter 1

_Warning for gore, obsessive thoughts, slash-ish, nothing sexual is very graphic. Not my usual thing. J.K. Rowling owns the characters. Thanks to Davros Fan for his help with this._

* * *

Colin smiled at Harry across the hall when he saw him, waving excitedly. The boy knew to keep his camera out of his hero's face; he could never get enough photographs of the other boy but he knew Harry didn't like it. Harry waved back, if you could call it that, it was more of a 'hand-flop' motion, what he did just then. Colin took it.

War was coming and Harry Potter was the center of it. He was stressed, unhappy, Colin understood that, wished he could make Harry happier, in fact.

Colin found his eyes drawn to the bigger boy yet again that breakfast. Harry was running a hand through his messy hair, and then brought it straight back up to pat down his fringe, covering the scar - Colin knew he hated people staring at his scar. The Chosen One rubbed his eyes under his glasses and pushed his plate away.

Harry was tall, finally catching up to the other seventh years, and broad shouldered, made even more obvious by the black school robes and the stress which must have been practically coursing through his veins to make him all jumpy like that.

Colin scanned the Gryffindor table for Ron and Hermione. They were together, looking infinitely more relaxed than their friend. Some friends; when Harry needed them the most, they were _oblivious._

"Harry!"

Harry stopped in the doorway of the great hall and turned around.

Ginny Weasley stood from the Gryffindor table, calling to him, loud enough for half the hall to turn, silly girl, Harry hated attention. She ran to Harry, practically jumping into his big arms and hugging him tight. Colin watched as the boy forced the stress to melt away, Harry shut his eyes and hugged his girlfriend back.

Colin's trigger finger twitched, and he brought his camera up and snapped a single shot. As soon as it was back in his lap, Ginny let go of her hero-boyfriend and the stress literally jumped back onto his posture and he stormed out of the Great Hall, not angrily, just rushed, anxious.

Colin shook his head sadly. Harry needed someone right now, and his friends and girlfriend were reminding him of this huge responsibility he was unfairly given.

Colin didn't feel hungry all of a sudden; he pushed his plate away with a sick look and stood.

"Colin?" Travis asked him as he turned to leave.

"Oh," Colin said to his friend, "I'm just not hungry; I'll see you in Transfiguration, yeah?"

Travis nodded and Brad waved goodbye to him as he left, but Colin was thinking about how he could help Harry.

First thing was waiting for the weekend, it was a Hogsmeade weekend this Saturday, and Harry hardly ever went to the small village anymore, it would be a great time to talk to him, maybe help him forget about all his responsibilities for just a minute and Harry would have his friend. Colin would be the prefect friend for his hero.

He would have to leave his camera in his dorm room, Harry always gave it a suspicious look when Colin had it with him, and Harry seemed less nervous around him when they were in the D.A. together fourth year, and Colin had no camera then.

Colin peeked in the transfiguration classroom, noting the cat sitting on McGonagall's desk; he shuffled into the room and took his seat, looking around before grimacing and saying softly.

"Hello Professor."

The cat meowed loudly and jumped off of the desk, running from the room as McGonagall walked in.

_Damn, just a cat_.

"Mr. Creevey, you're early?"

"Sorry Professor, I wasn't really hungry today."

She accepted his excuse wordlessly, allowing his thoughts to drift back to the Chosen One.

It was Wednesday today, meaning he had a couple days to finish his homework and brew a new batch of developing solution (it was way too expensive to buy). Colin sat back in his chair, excited for Saturday, when Harry Potter would realize what great friends they would be.

* * *

It was Saturday morning, and Colin was up before dawn, he was so excited about today, not only did he have the developing solution finished, but he knew, for a fact, Harry would be in the castle; he had a remedial Potions lesson with Snape this morning.

Colin dipped the film in the developer, pulling photo paper and his little 'clothes line' - as Brad called it - towards him, He watched the photo he snapped of Harry develop. Ginny ran across the little screen into his arms, and he swept her off the ground a little bit. Harry's face looked a bit pained – of course it did, Weasley was a nightmare – as he hugged her. Something stirred in Colin's stomach as he sat there watching the picture; jealousy, maybe? Of course he was jealous; he wished he could have a girlfriend like Harry had. Colin pointedly ignored the nagging voice in the back of his head that made retching sounds at the thought of having a girlfriend and slipped the photo into his Harry Album.

Travis called him creepy for it, but that was mostly because Colin's potion smelt pretty funky and Travis didn't like it, there was nothing wrong with following the life of a celebrity, muggles did it all the time in tabloids, and Colin had _always_ wanted to be a photographer, Harry just happened to be his favorite thing to photograph; _and_ they were friends anyway, people take photos of their friends all the time.

Colin smiled at his first few photographs of the castle, and the first one of Harry. It was in the Great Hall, when they first met, Harry was smiling and then the flash went off and he looked scared, a bit. Imagine, _Harry_ _Potter_ scared of him? It was ludicrous.

Harry was such a cute kid, his hair was wild as always and his glasses too big for his nose, his fringe firmly plastered over the famous scar and his kind eyes shining. It may have been Colin's favorite photo, not only was it the first of Harry but it was the first photograph he managed to develop using magic.

Colin shut the book and vanished the used potion before heading for the dungeons.

"Bellatrix Lestrange's vault, Snape-"

"Professor Snape-"

"Not as an Order Member-"

"Dumbledore-"

"Is dead, Snape and I want this war done as quickly as I can, Sirius and Dumbledore are two too many casualties, thanks."

"We're not looking for them today Potter-"

Colin didn't mean to eavesdrop on Snape and Harry's conversation, he didn't understand any of it anyway and he coughed loudly to announce his presence.

"Harry, I was hoping your potion lesson was finished?" Colin asked, ignoring Snape as best he could.

"Colin, hi, yeah, lets go."

Harry ignored Snape's sneer as he turned his back on the dour man, grabbing Colin's wrist gently, touching the skin, Colin looked at Harry in shock.

"I Harry… can we be friends?" He blurted out; Harry offered him a kind smile.

"We are friends, Colin," Harry said. Colin had a speech prepared, but it went out the window when Harry had reached out to him, touched him.

"I mean closer, you, Harry you look so sad, all the time I-" Colin stopped talking as Harry smiled and shook his head, he was the happiest Colin had seen him in a while, carefree even, from one conversation.

"Just school, obviously Potions isn't going so great and N.E.W.T.s are really knocking me around."

"Harry," Colin stopped him and grabbed his hand. Harry frowned at their linked fingers. "You're lying, I can tell, just give me a chance." Colin could feel Harry's breath on his nose they were standing so close, Colin just felt like they should be closer.

Harry was glaring at him, and threw his hand away, which forced Colin to take a step back.

"No," Harry deadpanned, but Colin knew he didn't mean it. "I don't want to be friends with you Colin, fucking touchy feely bullshit and the fucking photos, leave me alone, I'm not a fucking zoo animal!"

Colin shook his head, dismayed as Harry left; the hero was more stressed than he thought, Colin had to help him, but still, that was an odd reaction, from both of them. Colin just went completely scatterbrained as soon as Harry had touched him, Harry got so defensive about it. There was something special between them, but Colin left that though alone for a moment while he though about more pressing matters, like how being so close to Harry had set his nerves on fire, he always wanted to be close to Harry after that one, angry conversation, his closest friend, his confidant, his trusted companion, his… his boyfriend?

Boyfriend was the right type of word, but not _profound_ enough.

His lover.

That's what it all meant! Harry was so violent because he's uncomfortable, he didn't understand the feelings, but Colin did, because Harry had saved him from being petrified, Harry had _killed_ the Basilisk for him…

Colin was lost in the euphoria of his thoughts. This was _right_ this was his purpose, he needed to love Harry Potter, like no-one else would.


	2. Chapter 2

Harry was avoiding him. It was infuriating, his hero was just hurting himself by staying apart like this, there was always an excuse, _always_, or Ginny Weasley would dive in and take him away.

There were rumors, flying around Hogwarts now about him and Harry, but Colin had no choice, he _needed_ Harry to see that they belonged together, Harry had to realize there were so _many_ reasons Ginny Weasley was wrong for him!

Of course the rumors were exaggerated, people were saying Harry and Colin were fucking behind Weasley's back, which wasn't true and at first, Colin thought it was ridiculous. Rumors which were circulating just because Colin was around Harry so much more now they needed to be friends and Ginny insisted on sticking her fat, red head in the way.

But the more he heard it the more he wished it were true. He wished he was fucking Harry Potter.

The Quiddich change rooms was the best place to be after a game, and mostly people didn't pay him attention, he waited until the rest of the Gryffindor team left then snuck in to see Harry, naked Harry, who always waited to shower until after everyone else because of all his scars, war scars.

Harry was embarrassed, modest and hurt by them, so he hid them but Colin thought they were beautiful, all of him was beautiful.

He was a big man, tall, broad shouldered and still managed to have smooth, tight muscles giving him a sleek body. His chest was hairy, but not disgustingly so, his legs long and strong. Harry let go in the shower, he would turn the water up to boiling and stand under it, head down, or hold his mouth open under the spray, eyes closed until he was almost crying from choking.

This was only sometimes and was one of a hundred reasons Colin knew Harry needed help. His help, his love.

It was the last weekend before the summer, a Hogsmede day, Harry wouldn't be back next year and this was maybe Colin's last chance, he wouldn't waste it. Colin followed Harry to the old D.A. training room. Harry had walked with his head down the whole way, wearing loose track pants and a jacket – no shoes.

Colin managed to slip into the room of requirement, he sat against the wall, knowing the room would hide him from Harry and turned his blue eyes on his hero.

Harry stretched first, and jogged on the spot for a moment, jumping and twisting and even doing handstands, push ups, sit ups, it was impressive.

Then he unzipped his jacket, pulling it off quickly revealing his toned, pale, sweaty chest and he pulled out his wand.

Colin jumped when a dark figure popped into existence before him and Harry twirled, shooting a hex at it which blasted the thing to bits before his eyes, another came and Harry cut it in half.

_Death Eaters._ Colin realized, they were dummies of Death Eaters the room was attacking Harry with.

Two more popped up, and a third behind that, Harry dodged the lights thrown from the far ones and blocked a blow from the close one, he was so fast as he grabbed the things shoulders and shoved it, ducking a wild swing and slipping behind the dummy. Harry leapt onto its back, his feet on its shoulders and the body lurched forwards, with his hands either side of the body's 'head' he snapped its neck, riding the falling figure to the ground where he rolled, slicing the other two dummies clean in half.

Colin watched Harry kill the Death Eaters brutally and diligently, the most he took on at a time was five and he came out on top, cutting them down one by one, killing them however he could. Colin was transfixed on the beautiful, powerful and _dangerous_ man in front of him, the bare chest was glistening with sweat, Muscles straining and twisting, Harry's grunts and groans filled the room, and it was almost like watching violent sex. Colin leaned forwards, and moaned himself when the movement rubbed his erection.

Colin was shocked and leant back again, flinging his hands out and he knocked over something.

Unwillingly he tore his eyes off Harry to pick up the bottle of…He turned it in his hands, looking at the confusing label.

_Ebony Way's Personal Lubricant._

Personal l… _oh. _The room must have provided it as a joke, a laugh, Colin assumed, but he didn't put the bottle down as his eyes turned back to Harry. Harry was straddling a dummy, hands locked around the dark figure's neck as the figure struggled against his crushing hands.

Harry was panting, loudly, the muscles in his arms bulging, sweaty hair hung in his gleaming dark eyes. His back glistened, the tight, tensioned muscles each outlined perfectly, beautifully.

Colin considered the bottle in his hands. It was for Harry, to help Harry, Harry needed to be loved, and this was a way to show that… Colin uncorked the bottle as his blue eyes drifted back to his hero, who was lying beside the dead fighting body and panting loudly, his still bare chest heaved as he breathed in the air, eyes closed. Another dark figure was advancing, and Harry took only a moment more to catch his breath and jumped to his feet and faced the newest foe.

There was a bang, so loud Colin dropped his lube and Harry jumped and turned to face the door as the dark figure disappeared in a wisp of black smoke.

Another bang and the castle shook.

Harry jumped to his feet and ran from the room, leaving his jacket and the dead dolls on the floor, wand in hand.

Colin jumped up behind him, hastily zipping his pants and pulling out his own wand.

As soon as he left the come and go room his world was falling apart.

Dust filled the air, screams were coming up from the grounds, from the forest out the window he could see giants, two of them, heading for the castle.

Another loud bang. More screaming. Colin ran to the window, looking out across the grounds properly, from the front gates of the school the students from the Hogsmeade visit were running up the lawn like ants running from fire, behind them the Death Eaters marched, spells flinging into the students leaving some injured, helped by their frightened friends, others were dead.

Colin turned away from the window and ran towards the Great Hall, where Harry would surely be. He reached the corridor with the portrait of the fat lady when the castle shook so violently Colin fell. The wall was smashed in, large stones exploding over the grounds and the corridor ruined. Colin carefully made his way around the damage, then ran towards the hall.

He reached the grand staircase, teachers and Order members were only just managing to keep the Death Eaters at bay, around them students cried and screamed, all in a mass of panic, the suites of armor were pushing forwards through the teachers, into the space where the doors stood. There was enough room left between the castle entrance and the front-line of Death Eaters for the Statues to run forward, some exploded before they could reach Voldemort's forces, but the others lifted their swords above their heads and with a mighty swing cut down rows of Death Eaters.

This was how Colin found Harry.

Time stopped for a moment, Harry had one robed figure behind him, arm around his neck, another was at wand point, a third dead already, below his feet. With a powerful and graceful twist he caused the one behind him to stumble, falling forward into the Death Eater at wand point; and Harry raised his arm and killed them both in one fell swoop.

The look in his hero's face was chilling, and blood arched up from the bloodied mass of dead on the ground, splattering his already blood covered chest. Harry didn't stop, with another twist more people were falling dead around him, the ground was becoming soaked with blood and gore, Colin ran forwards to help his hero.

The suits of Armour fell and the crowd of Death Eaters surged forwards, separating him from Harry again. Colin fought whatever came in front of him, holding them off, but only just. The order came forward and the forces clashed, but were pushed back into the castle. As soon as the Death Eaters breached the doors they came in an unstoppable wave, spreading into the dungeons and up the Grand staircase, Colin retreated into the Great Hall where students were still frantically flooing home.

Harry came in last, slamming the doors behind them and warding them with his wand. He looked up at the frantic order members, injured were being tended to, dead were being laid out. Screams rose in the air when the hall shook, the windows rattled violently and the chilling voice of You-Know-Who crept down Colin's spine.

"Give me Potter, and you will be spared. You have an hour."

There seemed to be a rushing sound, like gale force wind, the door of the great hall shook and then it was deadly quiet.

"Teachers, evacuate the students, people need to go out and bring in the dead and injured-" Harry had spoken, his voice washed over Colin like a safe blanket after hearing you-know-who.

The hall surged around him, people moved around to each to a different job, a small group of Aurors were heading for the Great Hall doors when they opened with a loud bang against the wall.

Severus Snape glared at the crowd, he walked in, robes billowing behind him, the sword of Gryffindor held tight in his grip.

"Potter!" He ordered and Harry darted forwards, Snape threw something at Harry's feet.

"Where I said it would be?" Harry asked smugly as the clang of metal on stone died down, Colin craned his neck and saw what looked like a mangled, singed gold cup at Harry's feet.

Snape lifted the sword and threw it to Harry, who caught it at the hilt. Harry nodded, taking a step forwards, Snape grabbed Harry's shoulder and said something quietly to him, Harry shook his head and made to leave the Hall, Snape grabbed him again.

"Colin?" It was a tentative voice, but an urgent one and Colin followed the Huffelpuff girl onto the grounds. "I saw it happen Colin, it was, er, quick, I'm sorry."

Colin frowned at her but looked over the grounds, students and teachers were gathering dead students, hauling them back into the castle, friends and family were crying over the bodies. Colin scanned the crowd-

"Dennis?" His voice didn't falter, which surprised him and he darted forwards to his brother, lying face down in the bloodied mud, Colin rolled the young boy onto his back. Dennis' eyes were open, blood and mud congealing on the surface, his throat had been cut, deep and Colin could see the pipes and muscles and bone... Colin screwed his eyes shut and stood, hefting his brother into his arms and carried him back to the castle, laying him on the floor of the great hall with the other dead.

The castle shook again as that dreaded voice returned, Colin did his best to block it out but couldn't as the doors opened again, people running in with the dead and wounded. Voldemort led the Death eaters into the room, forcing the light side back. Harry stepped forwards, his still bare chest was covered in sweat and blood, his hair was mussed, showing his scar and the bloodied sword of Gryffindor was still culched in one hand, a his holly wand in the other.

"You're all going to _die_." Voldemort hissed at them, his voice shaking with rage and anticipation before Voldemort flung himself forwards. Harry met him halfway, a shield blocking that first curse and ducking the second, if it were possible he was more graceful than in the room of requirement, and it was evident in a matter of seconds who would win this. Voldemort screamed as his arm was loped off with the sword, then he hissed, and Nagini sprung forwards, only to be beheaded by the same sword, and then Harry quickly said "_Avada Kedava!_" And a green light briefly flashed across the room, and Voldemort fell.

The Death Eaters began to flee, Harry ran forwards again, cutting them down, tying them up, forcing them to surrender until he was stopped by one.

Bellatrix had a near comical expression on her face as she faced him, her makeup had run down her face from her tears in angry, ugly blotches and she leveled her wand at Harry.

"How DARE you kill him, mudblood!" Bellatrix cried and with that the witch and the wizard flew into battle.

It was so fast Colin couldn't catch what was happening, the order finally sprung into action against the remaining Death Eaters and subdued them, and with a shriek, Bellatrix was cut down, her blood joining the rest of the blood the drenched the great hall.

Harry threw the sword down on top of her corpse and left the room. It was done! Colin made to go after him but Ginny Weasley had called the attention of the celebrating people.

"Harry didn't want me to say anything," She said, not quite loud enough for everyone to hear clearly, but Colin caught it. "We're leaving, hiding, he wants peace."

She looked at the door with a sad look.

"Don't try to find us," she finished and followed his hero from the hall.

_Leaving?_

_No…_

Colin ran after them, frantically calling for Harry, searching desperately, becoming more and more frantic as the time went by without seeing his hero.

"Colin?" Colin breathed a sigh of relief.

"Harry, don't go!"

"Colin, I'm not going to spend the rest of my life as a showpiece-"

"I love you, Harry, please stay with me!" His Gryffindor courage surging forwards all at once Colin leaned forwards and kissed his love. It was magic, like no other until horrible pain cracked across his face.

Harry stood before him, still shirtless, still covered in blood and sweat, still barefoot, eyes glaring, wand levelled on Colin. Colin squirmed on the floor, the pain in his cheek from Harry's punch making his eyes water.

"You good for nothing little poof!" Harry screamed at him, "Keep the _fuck_ away from me, I've never liked you, I'm not gay and I want to be left the fuck alone!" Harry shot a stinging hex at him, causing him to yelp and jump back. Colin scrambled to his feet as another stinging hex landed.

"I was nice, I put up with the fucking pictures and incessant rubbish and your poufy ways, but I'm done, I'm done with the Wizarding World, and I'm done with _you_, fucking fag, go kill yourself!"

Colin was gobsmacked, Harry gave him a final look of pure derision before turning on his heel and leaving. He stumbled forwards, and then fell.

"No," He whispered, "HARRY PLEASE!" Colin screamed after the boy. Colin panicked, his vision blurring around the edges, darkening.

"Mr. Creevey?" Colin barely registered nurse Winscott beside him, he just stared into the empty corridor, where Harry had left.

Harry had left.

There was a hand on his shoulder and Colin flung it away, Harry had left, with Ginny, it, she, that wasn't good, she wasn't right for him!

"He left, he's gone, LET GO OF ME!"

"Mr. Creevey... Colin!"

Colin took out his wand and blasted the nurse away, stumbling up the hall, his head was spinning, he couldn't see.

Harry was gone...

"Stupefy," Colin had enough sense about him to realize someone was trying to stop him, but his panicked brain could do nothing but lose consciousness as the spell hit.


	3. Chapter 3

**Five Years Later**

Harry smiled at Ginny's happy face as he woke up in the morning to see her watching him, her bright red hair was messed from sleep and she had the thick white bedcovers pulled up under her chin.

"Hey you," She said with an even bigger smile. Her blurry face came into focus as he slipped his glasses on his nose and kissed her lightly.

"Good morning Gin," Harry ran a hand through her messy hair and gently pulled her towards him for a hug.

"We have to get up," She told him, "I have to have a shower."

"It's too cold," Harry said.

"The team will miss me today, and you have to feed and wash and clothe your son."

"He's my son today?"

"Three, two, one." Ginny said smugly.

Right on one James' cries filled the house. Ginny grinned at him, he rolled his eyes.

"I'm up, I'm up," Harry said, rolling from bed and shrugging on a bathrobe. He left his and Ginny's room in their little country house and went to James' room. The almost year old boy was standing in the cot, screaming. As soon as he saw Harry he smiled wide.

"Da da da da da da dad!"

Harry laughed at his little boy and scooped him up out of the cot, James gave an excited squeal and hugged Harry tight.

"Good morning James," Harry said to the little boy and changed his nappy. Harry used to work in the muggle world, as a fire fighter but he chose to stay home after his son was born. Ginny was still apart of the Wizarding world. She played seeker for the Holyhead harpies and he would never make her leave her family, Harry couldn't have completely left his friends and family, but it was working out, they hadn't heard anything about Harry Potter for five years. Harry quickly changed his son and took him into the kitchen where Ginny handed him a bottle of milk. He put James in his highchair and gave him his bottle, which the little boy grabbed and stuffed in his mouth excitedly.

"I love you babe," Ginny said, kissing his cheek and kissing the top of James' head.

"Love you too Gin."

"Oh, Mum wanted James, today, Ron and Hermione are leaving Rose with them, and I think Fleur was bringing Louis over or something. Doesn't matter, she wants James, you don't have to stay though."

"Yep," Harry said, waving as she ducked out of the kitchen and to the fireplace in their living room.

Harry pulled faces at James, making the happy little boy laugh and he washed and dressed his son before stuffing bottles, toys, blankets and nappies into a backpack and heading for the floo.

"The Burrow," Harry called, stepping into the green flames, James cuddled tight against his chest.

The little boy always giggled when the floo spun him around, and he recognised Nana's kitchen instantly, Molly bustled forward and took the boy, cooing at him and shooing Harry back to the fire.

"Percy and some of his Ministry friends are here, Harry," She explained, Harry thanked her, kissed James' head and he left, back through the floo.

Flooing twice in so short a time was making his head spin awfully, and Harry braced himself on their wall unit, shutting his eyes and willing the churning of his stomach to stop, it didn't, so he leaned over and lowered himself onto the lounge.

"I'm going back to bed," Harry told no one, standing up off of the lounge and stumbling down the corridor towards his bedroom.

"Harry?" Harry jumped, hearing the unfamiliar voice and grabbed his wand, panicked, his still fuzzy mind not helping the situation.

A man was sitting on his still unmade bed; he was unarmed, tall and slim, with fluffy golden blonde hair and baby blue eyes. He was clean shaven, a disbelieving smile on his face and a large camera slung around his neck. Harry stared at the man, before something finally clicked in his floo-fuzzy brain.

"Colin Creevey?" Harry asked cautiously, Colin nodded and darted forward, reaching for his hand.

"I missed you Harry, I've been looking for you since I got out of the Hospital."

Harry flinched away from the man's groping hand, and he stepped back.

"Yeah, too bad, look you have to leave, now."

Harry's mind was racing; they had to move, again, after this, especially after this, because the leer Colin was giving him means his crazy gay obsession hadn't left him.

"Harry, I just got here-"

"I don't care! Colin, leave, go, get out, piss off." Harry wanted to be kind to this boy, but he couldn't; he was invasive, intrusive and the thought of exactly how Colin thought of him was sickening, and Harry didn't want to think about it.

"Harry just listen!"

"No," Harry cut him off, "No Colin, get out."

"Just." Colin had stepped away from him, looking sad. "Just a kiss? Please, and I'll leave you alone, forever, I'll let you obliviate me, I won't remember where you live, I won't tell anyone, please?"

Anger spread through Harry's blood so fast it nearly made him lose his controlled and practiced hold on his magic. He took a breath; with a half step forward he grabbed a fistful of Colin's hair, so hard he must have pulled some of it out, Colin gasped in pain and Harry smashed their mouths together angrily, pushing Colin against the wall so hard his head made a sickening crack and Harry could taste blood from where his teeth cut Colin's lip.

It was unpleasant for Harry, and must have been for Colin, but the blonde boy followed Harry as Harry stepped back.

"Get out!" Harry hissed at Colin, who didn't look inclined to move. "GET OUT!" Harry screamed, spit flying in the other man's face, Harry pulled his wand. "You _liked_ that? You sick fag GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!"

Colin smiled at him, "You need to realise, Harry, I can make you happy."

Another surge of rage coursed through Harry's body and he really did lose grip on his magic, a wind picked up and the air was almost electrified. Then it stopped, Harry's head throbbed painfully and his lips tingled, his eyes became heavy and his vision swam.

"Son of a bitch" Harry said dryly as he kneeled forward, hitting the floor heavily, unconscious.

Colin stood over the unconscious man, shaking his head sadly. "I could make you so happy, silly man." Colin pulled a handkerchief out of his trouser pocket, carefully wiping a thick, clear potion off of his lips and pulled off the seal he was wearing so the potion hadn't knocked _him_ out. He winced as he gingerly touched the cut on his lip, and he tapped his wand on the split and the lump on the back of his head, healing them both.

He pulled Harry up by the back of his shirt pushing the man onto the bed.

"Time for me to look after you, hero." Colin told the unconscious person, "You've had to make all the hard decisions, no wonder you married the red haired bint, just like everyone expected you to."

He continued to mutter things like this to himself as he searched the room, it was fairly small, Harry deserved better, and his clothes were absolute basics, Colin threw them into the old school trunk he found anyway, vowing to buy Harry everything he wanted when he woke up. Colin plucked the wand from Harry's hand and pocketed it, then conjured a soft tie to bind his hands. Colin didn't like doing this, but if Harry didn't accept his help he would never be happy, and Harry's happiness was the most important thing to Colin.

Colin shrugged off his robe and camera, leaving them in a pile on the floor and slid into the bed next to Harry, who was breathing easy again, eyes closed and Colin gently brushed his hair behind his ear as he slept, Colin continued to brush his lover's face tenderly as he slept.


	4. Chapter 4

Colin was there as Harry woke up, a tea tray shaking in his hands.

"Harry?" Colin asked tenderly. Harry sat up, as soon as he realised he was restrained he panicked, Colin set the tray down. "It's me, Colin."

That didn't help.

"Get away from me," Harry screamed, "Get the _fuck_ away from me you sick freak!"

"Harry," Colin scolded him, handing him the tea. Harry held up his bound hands.

"Oh," Colin put the cup down. "Look, you're denying yourself Harry, because you're scared, and that's not okay." Colin reached to stroke Harry's face, and Harry scrambled away.

"I want to help you to be happy, you spent all your life saving everyone else and no one ever offered to help you! I just want you to be happy."

"I was happy!" Harry cried, "Then you kidnapped me."

"With Ginny?" Colin asked with a laugh, "How could you be happy with Ginny? Talk about cookie cutter, its like her whole purpose was to be your wife."

"No," Harry said, "I love Ginny, she's amazing."

"Cookie cutter," Colin taunted him, singsong.

Harry shook his head, still denying everything. "I don't want to talk to you, I don't want to be here, Fuck off."

Colin sighed and left Harry to himself. He was so frightened of accepting himself, this would take time. Colin paused at the liquor cabinet in his drawing room.

No, he couldn't drown his troubles away, this thing with Harry would take time.

The next day Colin came back to Harry's room, bringing an apple and a glass of water with a straw.

"Harry, please," Colin pleaded, "I want to look after you, like you looked after me and everyone else."

Harry stubbornly stayed silent that day, Colin left the green apple on the bedside table.

That night Colin cracked open Harry's door, just to check in, Harry glared at him.

"Harry, you'll be so much happier if you just accept it?"

"Accept what?" Harry spat.

"This!" Colin exclaimed, coming into the room, "us, me, then I can untie you can we can just exist. You can get a muggle job and we can be normal people again. No Harry Potter, no Colin Creevey, no Weasley's, no press, no more stress or hard decisions. Harry you can be looked after and be at peace."

Harry glared at him stubbornly, so Colin sighed and left his Hero alone in the dark.

Colin was thinking hard. Harry would come around, but at this rate it would take forever for him to be happy, he just needed something, more persuasive, something to cure his homophobia, something to _make _him see Colin was right for him, even though they were both men, especially that they're both men.

Colin paused at the liquor cabinet again. Then scolded himself. _Silly Colin,_ he thought to himself, _he wouldn't be Harry if he weren't so stubborn._ Colin stopped his musings as he heard a crash.

"Fuck!" Colin ran up the thin hallway and threw himself into Harry's bedroom, the window had been smashed open, blood was dribbling down the wall and the plants on the other side had been squished. Colin drew his wand as he reached the window, blasting away the long sharp shards and he jumped out the window.

"HARRY!" Colin called, "Fuck," He cursed again, crossing the small lawn in a few strides. Colin frowned, looking at the pavement, he crouched down, dipping his fingers in the thick red drop of blood.

He licked it off his fingers, eyes spotting the next drop on the pavement and Colin followed the breadcrumbs left for him by his lover.

"Fuck!" Harry hissed, he had broken into the house three doors down and hid upstairs, trying all the phones, presumably for Hermione but was not having any luck. Harry glanced at Colin and took a defensive stance, despite being badly injured and unarmed.

"Harry," Colin scolded the other man. "What have you done to yourself?" Harry's stomach sported a deep gash which he was desperatley cluching, hand slipperly and covered in blood. "_Pertrificus Totalus!"_ Colin bound Harry and levitated his body towards him, clutching his hand and apparating them back to his own home.

Harry's eyes were panicked, no doubt becasue of the large bloody gash in his abdomen, and Colin frowned. He couldn't take Harry out of the house, not yet.

Colin ripped up Harry's bedsheets and bound the wound, before running to the tiny sitting room and pulling his sewing kit out from under the lounge, and stopping to pull a bottle of vodka out of the liquor cabinet.

He soaked needle and thread in the alcohol and with a sympathetic glance to Harry, he began stitching up the violent wound.

_Harry wanted to fight, to scream to cry but he was stuck, it was agony, the alcohol soaked thread made the gash sting even more and he could feel the needle piercing and moving in his flesh._

_Harry's eyes darted around wildly, that was all he could do as the sick man above him tried to help. _

Colin felt very sick as he continued to sew his lover back together. It was like blanket stitching raw meat. And the way Harry's beautiful eyes were darting around told Colin loud and clear the poor man was in a lot of pain. He tied of the final stich before pouring a little more of the vodka over the cut and Colin tried to take a swig of it to calm himself but his hands were shaking. Covered in Harry's blood. Colin looked around wildly. His vision blurred.

Then he blacked out.

Colin let out a wreaked sob. It wasn't supposed to be like this. it was supposed to be happy. And Harry can never do that again, run away like that. Ever.

He shook the water out of his eyes and stood on shaky legs, running still soaked through his home and almost running into the liquor cabinet. He pulled something amber, rum maybe, and drank it straight.

What if Harry kept trying to leave?

Or he kept hurting himself?

Colin would never do something like that again, he couldn't, not ever. Anger welled up inside him and with heavy footsteps he rampaged up the hall, bottle still in hand, and bashed open Harry's door. with a wave of his wand Harry was released from the curse and he screamed, doubling over, tears in his eyes as he was finally able to react to the... surgery.

Colin kicked him across the face. Harry went sprawling and the 3/4 full bottle of rum smashed on the floor. Colin moved forwards, piciking up Harry by the collar.

"I'm so angry with you!" Was all Colin could manage, he punched Harry in the face, and again, and again, Harry spat out blood. Colin dropped him, waving his wand and conjuring heavy chains, then fixing them to the roof. He bodily pulled Harry up and locked his wrists in the manicles, Harry was hung so his feet could only just touch the floor.

"You will never run away again." Colin kicked aside the shards of alcohol bottle as he left the room and headded back to his liquor cabinet.

Colin gave it another full day before visiting Harry again. He was just as stubborn, but Colin would make him listen. Harry didn't have a choice.

"Harry you don't see it do you? How everyone is using you? Ron and Hermione wouldn't even be friends if it wasn't for you, and they just, you're always a third wheel with them, you never got any time for yourself, you're always saving someone, doing something, planning something, and then you just, it was so cliché, you save the world and marry the younger sister of your best friend." Colin paused and shook his head, "and the real crime is you never get to explore, never ever find out how happy you could be, you've never been happy, so you don't even know that you're so sad."

Colin moved forward quickly and tenderly touched Harry's face, he received a stony expression for his trouble. Colin left then, leaving the room dark, and cold, with Harry still hanging from the ceiling.


	5. Chapter 5

**31st July 2003**

"Harry's still missing."

Ginny and James were at Ron and Hermione's house. Hermione was with Rose in the kitchen, Ginny feeding her own son at the table, Ron was in the lounge room watching the telly, having finally understood how to use the muggle contraption.

"I know, Gin," Hermione said, exasperated with the girl. They all missed Harry, who had been missing for two months now.

"They're giving up on him," Ginny whispered. James was yawning widely in his high chair. "He, er, they think he's run off, on purpose, that he really needed to disappear from the Wizarding World and James and I were too much of a reminder-" Ginny's voice went high and strained, and she covered her mouth with her hand as the tears fell for the thousandth time since Harry went missing. "I miss him so much Hermione." Hermione rushed forwards and pulled her sister-in-law into a hug.

"We all miss him Gin," Ron said from the door. If he was sad he didn't show it. He closed off completely whenever someone mentioned Harry, he too believed that Harry had run off, and finally broke all ties to the Wizarding World.

Ginny frowned and looked at her son. "He didn't leave, he was taken." She said, still resolute.

"Ginny," Ginny was surprised when Hermione spoke up. "There's no one who would take him, no one knew where you were, no dark wizards left."

"You think he left too?" She asked, disbelieving that the intelligent girl thought the worst of her husband.

"It's the only thing that makes sense. there aren't a lot of people who could've overpowered him, I don't know, unless it was someone he thought wasn't dangerous. I'm surprised they looked for him this long, there were no signs of a struggle at your house and his things were packed and gone-"

"He left the map and cloak and his photo album!" Ginny exclaimed, "He, why would he take his broom and not those?"

"I dunno Gin," It was Ron who came forwards and wrapped an arm around her in a comforting way. "He doesn't make sense, hasn't for a while and it's his loss, what sort of person runs off on his wife and kid, you deserve so much better."

Ginny could only give him a sad smile.

* * *

Harry screamed out for help again. His shoulders were killing him. He didn't spend all his time strung up on the ceiling but it was far more time than he wanted. The door banged open, letting light spill into the room.

"The house is warded," Colin said lazily. "The muggles can't hear you, see us, we're unplottable."

Harry glared at his captor. Colin came up next to him, running a dirty hand down Harry's bare chest which was covered in dried blood and sweat.

"Harry, Harry, Harry," Colin tutted. "I'm the only one who knows about this place, and I'm the only one who knows you're here."

In his other hand he had a glass of red wine.

"Drink," Colin demanded, pushing the glass to his lips. Harry clamped his lips shut, not accepting the drink, "stubborn," Colin muttered polishing off the last of the wine before resting his blonde head against Harry's chest.

"I love you, Hero," He informed Harry, "You know that right?"

Harry tried his best to ignore Colin. Who waved his wand and let Harry down, but his hands remained manacled, as well as his feet and he hit the floor with a heavy thump.

Colin pushed Harry onto the bed and straddled him. Harry looked away, extremely uncomfortable.

"Come on Hero," Colin slurred into Harry's collarbone, Harry got his still bound hands under Colin and tried to throw him off. Colin laughed at him.

"Get off of me," Harry begged, "I don't want this."

Colin held onto Harry, resisting being thrown off of the bed. "Enough of that, Hero." He whispered, words slurring very very badly. Colin grabbed Harry's arms painfully tight and pulled them above his head, attaching them to the headboard. Harry could hear his shoulders screaming in pain once again.

Despite Harry's protests his body reacted to Colin rocking against him. The friction was bittersweet for him and Harry looked away from Colin, who was calling his name as he rocked against Harry, humping him. Tears prickled Harry's eyes and he sat there helpless. Useless. Helpless and scared.

Disgusting.

* * *

Colin wasn't happy. He had spent the night with Harry last night, and Harry had _cried._ Colin cluched an empty bottle of whiskey in his hand as he stumbled to Harry's room.

"I'm sorry!" Colin wailed, he tripped through the door and hit the dirty floor with a painful thud, Harry was still tied to the bed, his hands above his head and his feet curled up around his body. He was still crying.

"I'm sorry, Hero!" Colin wailed again, crawling up the bed sheets. "Hero," Colin stroked Harry's teary cheek. "Hero," He cooed again. Harry tried to turn away. "Please, Harry," Colin said, grabbing the man's hair and forcing him to look at him. "I need your help."

Harry finally reacted, he rolled his eyes.

"Keep away from me," he spat, yanking his head away from Colin's fierce grip.

"Harry," Colin almost sang the name. "Harrrrry. My name's Colin Creevy and I'm an alcoholic!" Colin laughed, uproariously, he lost his balance and slipped off of the bed, hitting the floor. "I'm in as much pain as you Harry!"

"Get away from me!" Harry yelled, scrambling away from his drunken tormentor as best he could. Colin hiccuped awkwardly, and sobbed.

"Please, Harry, I love you so much." Another Hiccup. "Just love me back?"

Harry paused for only a moment before kicking Colin in the face. It was a hard kick, breaking Colin's nose easily.

Colin cried out and gingerly touched his broken nose. He looked at Harry with such unbelievable disgust it gave Harry pause. Then Colin left the room.

Harry stared after him, unable to process the sheer degree of hurt that was on the other man's face as he fled. Maybe Harry... no. Harry was the victim here! Harry didn't want to think about it. He looked at his bloody wrists, the manicles were unforgiving, and his stomach, the gash from that second night all those many months ago. Colin had fixed him up. It was painful, but it was deep enough to kill Harry if Colin hadn't helped him. Harry was stupid, jumping out the window like that.

No. Harry mentally kicked himself, his tired, twisted mind was making him think crazy things.

Harry wanted to apolagise to his wrists as he heaved his hands against the cuffs on his arms, tried to run, to break the bed head, break the chain, hell he would settle for break his wrists. All Harry could do was cry out as the raw skin on his arms was pushed down like sleeves, exposing blood and muscle and bone and tendons. All white and red.

Harry coughed and yelled out again, looking at his ruined wrists and he wanted to fall on the bed, but it was blood soaked and wet from the spilt alcohol and rain coming in from the still broken window.

He wanted to go _home_. He missed his wife and his son.


	6. Chapter 6

Colin glared at the liquor cabinet; it was an on again off again problem, after graduation he had done nothing but drink his life away, now it was happening again. But he just couldn't control himself, especially now with Harry being so uncooperative. The thing last week, there hadn't been a repeat of it. When he had sobered up Colin couldn't believe what he'd done to Harry, but he tried to apologize and Harry had kicked him in the _fucking_ face!

Colin angrily took another swig of rum. Just to calm his nerves, but it didn't. Colin couldn't stop thinking about the vicious kick to the face. His nose was completely healed but the sting was still there, the hatred still tangible. After leaving Harry alone for almost a whole week Colin found himself drunk again in Harry's bedroom.

"I love you," Colin slurred again. the door had banged open causing Harry to jump.

Colin stumbled across the room and viciously slapped Harry across the face. "I love you and I want to help you and I love you Harry!" Colin, despite the tender words, hit him harshly again, Harry cried out and fell to the ground. Colin viciously kicked him in the ribs, again and again.

"I'm sorry Colin!" Harry shouted. His bound arms were above his head, his legs curled in against his body. Colin stopped.

"Why do you deserve my forgiveness, Hero?" Colin spat, another vicious kick at Harry's back. Colin sneered at the man on the floor and left the room again.

Harry was left in tears on the floor, he had expected Colin to do something like this but was surprised at the week's reprieve. Colin was right. He was trying to help Harry, Harry deserved worse, he didn't deserve Colin.

"God Damn it Potter, No!" Harry hissed to himself. You're the victim. Harry moaned as he rolled over, everything hurt, the rancid wound in his side was festering and he was starving, Colin usually slipped him some food, but had forgotten the past two days.

Harry wearily lifted his head and looked at the still broken window, which was now barred. His little dark room smelt like piss and blood and alcohol and his head was throbbing. Harry stood on shaky legs, and unsteadily limped towards the door. It swung open easily and for the first time in three months Harry saw something other than his dingy room, it was a thin dingy hall, a closed door at the end was probably Colin's room, and an ajar door two feet to his right revealed a bathroom and the end of the hall opened to a dimly lit living room.

Colin was snoring loudly on the lounge, a bottle of something unfinished clasped weakly in his hand and drool slipping from the corner of his mouth. Harry looked at his tormentor with disdain. He was not an attractive man, the alcohol making him rotund - while not obese - and poisoning him, his skin looked older, his hair was unkept, he was unshaven and sweaty and dirty. Harry looked around the room, only briefly for his wand, then he could kill the bastard, but he didn't see his holly wand or Colin's wand. Harry shook his head. He needed to get away from here. That was all, if he got away he could come back and arrest the bastard for this sick, twisted game Colin insisted on playing. Harry would see his beloved Ginny again and his little boy. Merlin, three months away from James, how much of his son's life had he missed already?

Harry was sure he made a racket on the way out but Colin stayed asleep, and finally, the beaten Harry Potter stepped out of the drunken captor's house and into the fresh air with a pained smile. He felt it as he passed through the wards but couldn't risk apparating; he was too ill, tired and starved. Now to figure out how to get home.

* * *

Ginny smiled at her son as he gurgled in his cot.

"You've gotten so big James."

Two weeks ago the aurors had declared Harry Missing By Choice, some rubbish about insufficient evidence to suggest he was abducted. Ginny was slowly coming to accept that verdict. She was now Ginny Weasley once again, James was now James Weasley and Ginny had already begun dating again. The first man ran off when he realized she was a mother. The second just wasn't particularly nice. the third, she had been seeing for a week. He was really wonderful to her. Mr. Palmer Morris was two years older than Ginny and was the team coach of the Chuddley Cannons, Ron was completely taken with him, as was James.

It had died down now, but Harry really had been all over the news, about how he abandoned the Wizarding World and his wife and son, she liked to think he was alone somewhere in the muggle world, just having the sort of life always denied him and resolutely, Ginny was not upset by her husband abandoning her, but she was working hard to replace him with a rich and handsome man who would love her and James like Harry never could.

* * *

Harry hadn't gotten far. Colin found him two days after his second escape passed out in the back yard of the abandoned house at the end of the street.

"Oh my Hero," Colin said quietly, hoisting Harry into his arms bridal-style and kissing his head tenderly. Colin lovingly laid Harry in Colin's own, clean bed, and used his wand to mend Harry's aches and pains. He had even gotten a slave for the festering gash on Harry's tummy.

Colin was wearing socks and house pants, and he climbed in bed next to Harry and stroked his hair gently. Harry stirred.

"Ginny?" He asked with a huge dopey smile on his face. Colin stopped the gently stroking of his hair.

"No, Hero."

"Colin?" Harry sat up. "Colin, I'm so sorry, I when I got out, I didn't realize, I need you."

Colin frowned at Harry. Harry pulled the Daily Profit from yesterday from his pocket. "You were right," Harry told his tormentor. "It was all pretend."

On the front page was a picture of the red haired bint and her stupid brother, Harry's denial born brat and the mudblood and the ginger.

"Harry," Colin said sympathetically. "You see what I was trying to save you from now?" Harry looked away from Colin and looked away from the newspaper. "I love you Harry," Colin took the other man's hand. "There's nothing pretend about this, Hero."

* * *

_Harry stumbled up the street, it was in the worst kind of area. On the outskirts of a large residential area near a sewerage plant. The smell was thick and repugnet, making the homes here filthy and cheap. There was a monumental shouting match held by some muggles in the house across the street and each house looked near abandoned. Litter was covering the street from the resident's dumping. Grass was uncut and cars were unclean - or burnt out. _

_Harry shivered and tried his best to run away from this place._

_He spotted something, an owl, flying towards him, with a Daily Profit clutched in its claws._

_It dropped the newspaper at Harry's feet and flew off - his prescription was pre-paid - and Harry picked up the paper and unrolled it._

_No..._

**_Harry Potter Abandons Wife and Son for Anonymity_**

_Harry read the paper, his hope draining bit by bit, he was haunted by their lack of faith, not the profit or the Wizarding world - his family. Ginny, Ron, Hermione, George and Mrs Weasley, all of them stating with such harsh conviction that he had run away. He was hiding, he was selfish and deserved what he got._

_He deserved this. They were right._

_Harry looked around wildly and dragged his feet to the first abandoned house in the street. He stumbled into the backyard and fell near a bush, crawling under the plant and Harry let his life catch up with him. Harry shut his eyes and for the first time in sixteen long years, he desperately wished to wake up in his cupboard under the stairs._


	7. Chapter 7

Harry winced as the fifth empty beer bottle cluttered to the floor. Colin had been leaning against the wall shouting at him for over an hour now. Colin drew his wand.

"I fucking love you, but you just don't FUCKING LOVE ME BACK _CRUCIO!_" Colin must have surprised himself just as much as he surprised Harry, because the spell faltered seconds after it had been cast. Leaving both men panting and wide eyed. Colin strode up to Harry, who was hanging from the ceiling again.

"I was so fucking close!" Colin said, wand jabbed into Harry's ribs while his other had crushed Harry's jaw in a death grip. "We were being happy and normal and I didn't have to tie you up all last week, then you have to fight back?"

_Harry had been so confused all week. since Colin found him in the abandoned house passed out after crying for hours over the daily profit article claiming he had abandoned them all for good. The owl had found him shortly after Harry realized he was too exhausted to Apparate away successfully._

"_I was so hurt, and it took me months to accept that he would just leave James and me like he did." They were Ginny's words, she had waited a few months. And Colin's explanations had fit so perfectally and he was there and Harry needed someone, and he woke up comfortable and clean and no longer sore with someone stroking his hair, and Ginny had hurt him and Colin was there Harry's crazy mind made him like Colin, look after Colin, kiss Colin and finally Harry had come to his senses, that morning after having a dream where he was with Ginny and James once again. Colin had woken him up and Harry had told him;_

_"You make me want to kill myself."_

_Colin had been nursing a bottle since then, Harry was strung from the ceiling immediately and those thoughts had come back._

The thoughts where he knew he was in love with Colin. who had just tried to FUCKING _crucio_ him.

"_Crucio!"_ Colin succeeded. Harry screamed as the familiar but no less painful knives stabbed at his skin. The end of the wand against his ribs burned like fire, even after the curse stopped, Harry's swimming vision focused on Colin's golden hair and his bright blue eyes. Colin's face was right in front of Harry's own eyes, his glasses fogging up from Colin's hot breath.

Colin kissed him and the torture curse stopped. The hand in his hair was painful and the wand in his ribs hurt because it was pointy and poking him and because Colin was burning him with his magic. The pain caused Harry to sweat, Colin's body against his cause Harry to sweat, Harry was hanging from a dungeon and Colin was dominating him, and that caused Harry to sweat.

Harry moaned into the kiss, and Colin bit his bottom lip; drawing blood, his wand dropping from his hand to the floor with a clatter and Harry was held tightly as Colin dug his short fingernails deep into his back.

Harry gasped as he was swung around in his restraints and his pants were pulled down around his knees. Colin's breath smelled strongly of beer and he grunted as he rut his own, uncovered erection against Harry's ass.

Harry screamed no, and Colin didn't listen, but Harry deserved it, because Colin couldn't live without Harry.

* * *

Colin was laying on the floor of Harry's room, Harry was still hanging by his wrists, blood dribbled down his naked, sweat covered chest and legs. Colin was naked but for his socks, a half empty beer bottle was laying next to his head which was sporting a roaring hangover.

"That was amazing, Hero," Colin wearily lifted his head and stood on shaky legs, he cupped Harry's tear stained cheek and kissed him lightly. "Your doing so well, Hero, you can rest today."

"Thank you Colin." Harry whispered back. Colin untied Harry and helped him walk to Colin's bathroom where he was left alone to shower.

Harry turned the water on till it was scalding and stepped under it, he had gotten a souring pad from under the bathroom sink and began scrubbing at his skin, rubbing it red and raw, the water burning it painfully. Harry just stood there then, unable to feel clean and unable to express all the bitter hatred and helplessness in his chest, so Harry put his face under the stream of water until he was drowning, and choking and coughing.

"Oh Hero," Colin followed him into the shower, wrapping Harry in his arms and gently kissing his pink shoulder. "Shhhh," he cooed to the dark haired boy, "I love you Harry, everything will be alright."

Harry broke down properly then, he leaned all his weight against Colin and cried his heart out, the thoughts in his brain screaming at him to stop. remember Potter, you're the victim.

Whether Colin knew what he was thinking or it was jut coincidence that his deep, rumbling voice soothed away those confusing thoughts was a mystery to Harry but it did.

"We need each other Harry, we can help each other. Love."

"I'm tired of fighting." Harry whispered.

"I know love," Colin soothed.

"I'm tired of fighting." Harry said again, the abuse at the Dursley's and the abuse at Hogwarts and now this all catching up with him.

"Let me look after you." Colin whispered.

Harry silently nodded into Colin's bare shoulder as his brain shut down, as he gave up and he leaned into the embrace. Accepting that what this man was telling him was true, if he was good and did as he was told, he wouldn't be hurt, Harry Potter _could_ be happy.

Colin loved him, and that's all that matters anymore.

* * *

The window had been smashed something like three months ago, Harry was still chained to the bed, by a long chain strapped around his ankle. His wrists had been rubbed raw and bloody by the cuffs but he didn't care. He looked at the shattered window now. The bottom was smashed out completely, the glass all gone, but the top had long, shining, _sharp, _panes of glass hanging down like deadly icicles.

Harry needed one.

He was careful to be so very, very quiet, but the chain rattled louder than anything he had heard in the deathly silence. He had no way of knowing if Colin was asleep or passed out.

Harry held his breath as he reached for the window. His fingers clutched the largest shard of glass and snapped it. He bit his lip as the glass cut his fingers but didn't make a noise.

Harry smiled. He missed Ginny and James. Colin confused him so, so much and he didn't want to keep going anymore, Colin would never give him his old life back and Harry was so tired of being the Chosen One, he had enough excitement in his life for a lifetime and he was ready to see his parents and Sirius and Remus once again, it was with this comforting though that Harry drove the sharp piece of glass into his left wrist. He made no noise as blood welled up around the glass and it poured out with furious gusto when he pulled the shard out.

Harry had difficulty driving it into his other wrist, but was feeling ill and sleepy before he managed it, so he left it. Leaving his arm hanging over the bed so the blood pooled on the ground he shut his eyes. He had five minutes, maybe, before he bled out.

_I'm so sorry, for failing you, but I cannot keep living like this. _


	8. Chapter 8

**Epilogue**

Ginny woke with a smile on her face. Palmer was next to her, his dark hair splayed across the pillow. She was cuddled into his chest.

"Dad, dad, dad, dad, dad, dad, dad." Their son's clear voice came closer and closer until James wobbled into their room, running towards his parents' bed. Palmer laughed and scooped up the little boy.

"What a big boy getting out of bed all by yourself!" Palmer hugged James tightly, James giggled and squirmed out of Palmer's arms and into Ginny's lap. Ginny smiled at her husband and three year old son. Hugging him tightly. "Good morning sweetheart." Ginny turned to her husband, suddenly overwhelmed, "I love you Palmer," Ginny told him, he grinned widely at her.

"I love you too, Gin."

She had all but forgotten Harry Potter.

Harry Potter who was currently chained to the ceiling of Colin Creevey's little home. Again. Colin had a knife this time.

"Col, please, I can help you-"

"I'm supposed to be helping you Harry, and you go and do that? YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO LOVE ME!"

"Colin, ahhh, babe you don't need the alcohol!"

Colin had jabbed the knife deep in Harry's leg. Cuts crisscrossed his arms and legs and chest. blood pooled on the floor beneath him, Colin's hands were covered in it.

"All of it, Harry, you poured all of it down the sink!"

"Colin, I-"

"It's all gone,"

"Colin!"

"I need it, it's gone, I can't... I can't..."

It was apparent to Harry Colin no longer registered the world around him, Harry's shoulders hurt and the cuts and punctures itched and stung. Harry was not surprised when Colin began to cry, nor was he surprised when he left the room.

"Colin! Colin! COLIN!" Harry called but Colin didn't return, Harry could hear things smashing and being pushed around, thrown around in the house, Colin was looking for another drink, but he wouldn't get it.

It was hard to find them all the muggle way - Harry was not allowed his wand - but Harry got them all, except the Vodka, the bottle of which, now, long empty was sitting broken on the floor.

"I NEED IT BACK, HOW DO I GET IT BACK?" Colin screamed, running back into the room, he was covered in blood, but Harry knew it was his, not Colin's.

"GET IT BACK! ANSWER ME!"

Colin was holding Harry now, his grip on Harry's sides tight and unplesant, he was shaking Harry, causing the pain in Harry's shoulders to intensify tenfold and Harry felt a little ill.

"I know it's scary Col, but you can get through this, we can get through this."

Harry cried out as the manacles dropped him heavily on the disgusting dark carpet. He crawled around as best he could to face his tormentor.

"Colin please, let me help you!" Harry pleaded, Colin sneered at him.

"I don't need help."

"You have a problem!"

"I don't!" Colin swung the vodka bottle at Harry's head. It hit hard and shattered, leaving deep gashes across Harry's face. Colin paused and looked at his lover, who had retreated back against the bed on the floor. "Harry I-"

Harry shook his head. Colin hadn't hit him in the face since _that_ night.

"Leave me alone, leave me alone, FUCK OFF!" Harry cried, he threw the manacles down and stormed out of the room, the door slamming loudly against the jam, but it didn't stay shut, that door had been broken long ago.

The shout startled Colin, he dropped the broken bottle top and fled the room. He was covered in blood again, Harry's blood. He only hurt Harry this badly when Harry tried to escape over the years. At first it was once a week, once a fortnight, once a month. He had only tried to run off once in their second year together. but this, this was too much for Colin. He had come inside to find all his bottles empty by the kitchen sink. Harry was waiting there, but Harry missed the single bottle of vodka he had stashed in his bedroom.

Colin drank it straight, Colin never didn't drink spirits straight and he had gone after Harry as soon as there was no more to drink. Colin knew he had a problem, but he didn't need help. He didn't need Harry to save him again. He stumbled into the bathroom, intent on washing Harry's blood off of himself. He didn't expect Harry to enter the room. Harry never came in while he was showering.

The cuts on his face and body had scabbed over, there was a bandage over his leg where Colin had stuck the knife in and Harry motioned for Colin to step out of the shower. He ran the bath, putting in the plug and Colin slipped in the warm water. Harry was wearing nothing but a robe and pants, kneeling besides the bath and holding Colin's hand.

"You look after me Col, now its my turn. You helped me be happy and I'm going to help you get through your problem, okay?" Harry asked quietly. He was so shy around him, never making eye contact, never fighting back, he hardly spoke - this was Harry's real, true self. Colin smiled a teary smile at the other man.

"You can try, Hero. I love you."

Harry just smiled his sad smile back at Colin. Harry did grip Colin's hand tighter, stroking his knuckles.

"You'll be alright, Col." Harry assured him. Hero's shaking fingers reached out to Col's forehead, his hairline. The touch stung and Colin flinched away.

"You're hurt," Harry told him, "you're hurt Col."

Colin's own hand came up to feel his hairline, and indeed there was a large gash there. Harry drew his hand back, fingertips dipped in blood, he licked them clean,then reached into his robe pocket, pulling out the green cut salve.

"Thank you," Colin said, reaching for the vial, but Harry withdrew it and opened it himself.

"Let me."

Harry smeared the thick paste over his thumb, then over Colin's cut. Colin winced as it stung, then burned and he could feel the pain numbing.

"Thank-you, hero." Colin sighed, and he sunk into the warm water. Calming down, looking into Harry's lovely green eyes and finally he trusted that Harry loved him back a little, Harry had finally _accepted_ them and for the first time since before seeing that basilisk in second year, Colin felt hopeful.

* * *

_Two years ago Harry had tried to kill himself, and Colin stopped that. He saved Harry again, using the deep-cut salve he had for Harry's Window Cut. It was forbidden, for Harry to kill himself, Colin made sure he never succeeded, but if Harry wanted to bleed, Colin made him bleed, Harry was never allowed to forget the pain he caused Colin that night._

_Colin was groggy and hung over when he woke in a sweaty panic. It took him forever to figure out what woke him; Harry's chain. It was rattling more than it ever did at night._

_Harry was trying to escape again. Colin groped in the dark and grasped the neck of his empty vodka bottle, smashing it on the coffee table before hoisting himself up and running on unsteady legs to Harry's room. He expected to see the boy running across the lawn or half way out the window, instead he saw him laying face-down on the bed, his left arm sticking out at an odd angle, his hand limp and blood dripping thick and wet onto the floor._

_Colin dropped the bottle, summoning the salve and crawling to Harry._

_"You did this on purpose, Hero?" _

_Harry was too far gone to reply, but his smiled widened by a fraction when he saw Colin._

_Hero needs to be saved._

_Colin lovingly applied the salve, summoning a blood replenishing potion and forcing it down the dark haired man's throat. Harry coughed and spluttered, sitting up and screaming._

_"LET ME DIE!" Harry shouted at Colin, who grabbed the broken vodka bottle off of the floor and smashed it across Harry's face. Harry cried out, clutching at his cut up face, blood pooling in his eyes and mouth, choking him, his glasses were flung off his nose, ruined. _

_"YOU'RE NOT LEAVING ME, EVER!" Colin fired a vicious stunner at his lover. The red light lit the room, throwing shadows into scary contrast, Harry was flung against the far wall with a sickening crack and he dropped to the floor boneless. Colin sneered and left him there. Harry needed his help more than anyone, Colin included, would know, and Colin would help him be happy again, but right now, Colin needed a drink. _


	9. Chapter 9

Harry was afraid.

He didn't know why he didn't just leave, he had tried, after so many years living in Colin Creevey's small, unclean, run down house he knew he should run, kill Colin if he could and run. Kill himself.

But something stopped him every single time.

Facing James again was the most terrifying thought he had _ever_ had. James was five, or four, or two, or six? Harry couldn't remember his birthday. What sort of father couldn't remember their son's birthday?

Harry was a coward, now, he had lost his fight, he was no better than a slave. And he couldn't face his little boy again, Ginny's son, not his, Harry could only pray James would be a better man than Harry Potter had been.

And then everything else. Colin needed him, that he knew was true, Colin had beaten it into him.

Colin _needs_ Harry.

But Harry was so tired. Somehow his foolish Gryffindor mind had thought just getting rid of all the alcohol would solve Colin's problem, he didn't realize how badly Colin thought he needed it. How badly Colin _did_ need it.

Harry was foolish enough to think that night in the bathroom would be enough. But the withdrawal symptoms started later that night, Colin had been shaking and sweating, hallucinating, crying, screaming, beating, crying and screaming and violent.

Harry was afraid.

Harry gave Colin the alcohol, to stop the frightening effects. Harry realised it would be so, so much harder than he first thought. It was difficult enough to give up an addiction all by yourself, but to force someone to give up? Harry had given up. He let Colin have his drink, have his way and Harry paid dearly.

_"TELL ME YOU WANT THIS!" Colin screamed at him, scratching at his waistband and ripping his pants down._

_"Tell me, POTTER!"_

_"I-I-I- want this..." Harry had cried._

Harry didn't want to remember that day. He had pleaded with Colin to give up the drinking, and Colin had told him he needed the drink because Harry was such a bastard, Harry had begged, and was told he was useless and frustrating, so Colin needed to drink.

Harry hated the word drink. Colin always begged for a _drink_.

At first Harry had hated his tormentor, then Harry had pitied him, and then Harry had felt hopeful - maybe Colin was right about them, Harry could relax and be happy.

Now Harry new better, he didn't want to deal with this, but for the umpteenth time Harry was dealing with problems that were forced upon him. So Harry would _try_.

The fact of the matter remained, he could never look his son in the eyes again - he _would_ never look his son in the eyes again, he could never face his parents or godparents or, Merlin forbid Snape - he was far to much of a coward.

So here with Colin is where Harry truly _belonged_ and Harry was going to help Colin through this, and god damnit he was determined to be happy again. He and Colin would be happy.

Once again Harry went through the small house, pulling all of the alcohol bottles from their hiding spots. In the vegetable cripspers, under the lounge, under Colin's pillow and out of his drawers. The bathroom cabinet and the bottle that was in the toilet brush holder. The liquor cabinet was emptied and Harry pulled down the large cookie jar off the top of the pantry and emptied the three bottles of beer That had been hidden inside.

He pulled out the milk container in the back of the fridge and the bottle of apple juice, he knew the milk was Irish crime and the apple juice was rum. And diligently, Harry began pouring the spirits down the sink.

"Harry?"

Harry jumped so violently he knocked about four bottles from the bench, and he didn't know what it was that made Colin not beat the shit out of him, but he was grateful for it.

"I'm sorry," Colin said and with a nervous gulp he stood next to Harry, and pulling the cap off a bottle, helped Harry tip out the poison.

"You're doing so well, Col," Harry praised him gently, Colin wrapped an arm around Harry and held Harry a little closer and Harry rested his head on Colin's shoulder as they finished their task.

The peacefulness lasted not long. Harry recognized the withdrawal symptoms straight away Colin was laying face down in the hallway crying into the dirty carpet like a petulant toddler.

"I'M DYING!" He wailed into the floor, Harry said nothing, just dragged the other man up by the arms and bullied him into bed. Colin crawled under the covers and Harry crawled over them next to the blonde man.

"It will be alright," Harry told him, "it's just your body -"

"Needing drink!" Colin snapped, somewhat muffled by the pillow.

"Getting rid of the poison."

"It's all gone, I need more!" Colin cried. Then he moaned and rolled over in bed. "There's none left. What did you make me do?"

Harry shook his head.

"You can do this Col, then we'll be happy."

"We were happy, Harry," Colin told him with a glare, he wiped his sweaty hair out of his eyes and stood.

"I need a drink," on shaky legs he wobbled to the dresser, looking and looking for a bottle he wouldn't find.

"Come here." Harry nervously reached for the other man, forcing him to lay down. Colin complied, whining all the way. "Shut up, ignore it, go to sleep, it will be over by the morning." Harry told him, Colin shook his head.

Harry rested his head on Colin's chest and ignored the world around him. They had never done this before - Harry had with Ginny, of course she was cuddled up to him - Harry sighed, Colin was quiet, and he shut his eyes to sleep.

Harry woke in a panicked, cold sweat. Colin was convulsing on the bed, it was two in the morning.

"Oh god." Harry cursed, looking at the other man not knowing what to do. Harry didn't want to cry but couldn't help it. He just watched Colin, helpless.

* * *

"I can't sleep." Colin moaned, a few nights later, he held his head in his hands. Harry was not asleep, even though it was three in the morning. Colin threw himself from the bed and ran to the bathroom, retching noises coming from down the hall, Harry looked up from where he was sitting on the floor against the wall.

* * *

A week later and the withdrawal hadn't gone away.

Colin was near unbearable, he would whine, then yell, then hit. Harry had bruises all over his chest and face to prove it. Colin would hallucinate, and scream in his sleep. Harry hadn't slept in three days.

"We'll get through this Colin. We'll get through this Colin." Harry was lening against the wall, sitting on the floor again, Colin was in bed, thrashing around, screaming, walking up, stumbling around the room, remembering he had nothing left to drink and he would scream again. They were in the fifth week of his massive, horrible, hellish withdrawal and Harry had a gut feeling it would be over soon.


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: this has a split ending, the requestee, wanted a happy ending where they get together, and I thought I broke them too hard for that. Both have been posted. Chapter 10 is mine, Chapter 11 is written by me for Davros fan.

* * *

_Colin was laying in bed, he felt disgusting, and cold and hot at the same time. He was naked, sweat covering his body, only a thin sheet on his lower half. It was dark, and his head hurt like hell, he was so tired but couldn't sleep. It was too hot, but if he kicked off the blanket it was too cold._

_It was cold. of course it was cold, it was snowing inside. He went to sit up, but couldn't. Colin needed water or something, anything to drink but he was stuck, his hands and feet, arms neck all stuck. He tried to call out but could only manage a panicked hum._

_There was a noise. Like footsteps, then another, which sounded like a stack of papers being knocked to the ground._

_He was able to move again as the sound of shattering glass startled him and he jumped up, tangling himself in his sheet and falling to the floor._

_Colin moaned in pain, and his lungs became heavy, and the room span around him, he could see stars._

_"COLIN!" _

_Colin looked for the source of the noise - no shout, that was a person calling for him._

_"Colin! Are you alright."_

_"Harry Potter," Colin said as the familiar face swam before his eyes. "It's snowing inside. I should take a picture."_

_Harry moved back, Colin dearly missed his warm touch. "I'd like one blanket please!" Colin cried out before dissolving in giggles. He was led back into bed by a worried looking Harry Potter._

_"I think you're hallucinating." Harry told him dryly._

_"What _are_ words?" Colin asked him, in the most serious of tones. "They're talking!" He theorized, "Wow, that's gold."_

_Harry pushed him onto the bed by his shoulders and placed a cool flannel over his forehead, which Colin pulled down and hugged to his chest, babbling more nonsense. Harry conjured a chair and waited through the night with him. Colin drifted between waking and sleep with incoherent babble and uncomfortable cries and whimpers. And Harry stayed by him the whole night._

* * *

"How are you feeling?" Harry asked Colin, who was holding his head. He grumbled as he came into the room.

"Shit." Colin said, he sneered at Harry.

"Don't look at me like that, Colin." Harry said.

"You deserve it."

"I do not. I don't deserve any of this. You're an asshole." Harry spat. Colin stood, and Harry's courage faltered, but he stood as well. "I just, I want to be happy."

"You are happy, Hero." Colin said, Harry shook his head.

"Stop hitting me, don't call me Hero."

"But-" Colin was interrupted by the loud smack that seemed to echo in the room. Harry drew his fist back, and shook it.

Colin stepped back, wand drawn. Harry's wand.

"Harry, everything I did to you was all your fault. If you had just-"

Harry launched himself forward and snatched Colin's wand.

"I don't deserve it, I don't, I never did, its all your fault, you, you-"

"Harry," Colin warned the older man, but Harry drew his fist back and punched Colin in the face again, forgetting the wand and he hit his tormentor again, in the stomach, in the face, Colin spluttered and cried out, and Harry kicked him, stomped on him, kicked him again. But he did only superficial damage, Colin was curled up on the floor, whimpering.

"I never deserved that, ever, Colin," Harry said, "You told me you would look after me and you hurt me, you hurt me and you lied to me. You have a problem, you have a lot of them, but from now on the deal is, you look after me, and I will stay.

"I'll protect you, Hero," Colin muttered from the floor, a sob escaped his lips and he began to cry. "I'll take care of you, Hero."

Harry sneered at the boy on the floor, and left for his bedroom.

_I should leave here._

* * *

Harry hadn't been outside in what felt like years. He was frightened to say the least. He was sure to see something he didn't like. His family have moved on after all, he knew this.

Harry held his hand in a tight fist and apparated with a loud crack.

His first thought was of utter relief, and then disappointment. Ginny and James no longer lived in their old house. Harry couldn't think of a way to find them now. And if he was honest, he didn't want to see them. Colin would just come looking for him again.

Harry didn't want to apparate again. He wanted to be saved. He wanted ... He wanted Colin. Harry's breath became labored, he looked around him but couldn't see. It was so, so _bright._ why was it so bright?

Harry held his chest. It felt heavy as if all the important things in there had been turned to stone. He looked around again. He knew this place, but it seemed so, so very different.

How long had he been away?

Harry's panic spiked, tears formed in his eyes and he was gasping for breath now, wheezing, choking noises coming from his lips. He wanted to be back inside.

He needed Colin, and Colin _needed H_arry. Why did he leave?

Another glance around the bright street, Harry's vision tunnled, black seeping into the edges. Everything sounded like it was so far away.

He forgot to breathe all together.

Harry bent forward, his legs moving of their own accord to keep him balanced and only serving to move him three steps before he pitched forwards onto the pavement in a dead faint.

* * *

How are you feeling?" Harry asked Colin, who wandered into their little kitchen and sat at the table.

"Better," Colin replied, "I slept through last night, no vomiting, mild headache."

"Good," Harry said, "it's good you're finally accepting your problem."

"I don't have a problem," Colin said, looking at Harry with pure shock. Harry returned the look with his own, disbelieveing face.

"Colin you've been in severe alcohol withdrawal for five weeks!"

"It's not - I don't - I can stop whenever I want," Colin said, "I, like, I have, see?"

"You've been acting like a child, begging for beer like a _fucking_ blankie!"

"I haven't, Harry I don't have a problem!"

"I've been feeding you, washing you, putting up with your problems and your bullshit all this time for nothing!"

"It's not for nothing, Harry, I stopped by myself! By myself!"

"I HAD TO HELP!" Harry screamed in his face, "All this fucking time and you're supposed to be looking after me, that's what you told me, remember? Well who's had to feed sad baby Colin for two months?"

"SHUT UP!" Colin screamed, standing up from his chair making it fall onto the tiles with a loud bang, Harry flinched at the sound as Colin towered over him. Colin picked up his cereal bowl and smashed it on Harry's head, causing the older man to whimper and fall to the ground.

"I'VE BEEN LOOKING AFTER YOU! I'VE BEEN LOOKING AFTER YOU! I DON'T HAVE A PROBLEM, NO PROBLEMS HARRY!"

Harry recognized another uncontrolled rage coming on, and Colin didn't stop shouting as he glared at Harry and viciously laid kicks into Harry's sides and chest. When Harry tried to climb to his feet he was hit across the back with a kitchen chair and kicked again and again in the stomach.

Colin could see red, and nothing else, after everything he did for Harry _fucking_ Potter he was still trying to be a sad martyr, after everything Colin went through - he gave up his alcohol for the sorry sack of meat.

Colin didn't register Harry's cries as he wailed for his attacker to stop, he could not hear the crack off his love's ribs or the haggard, desperate coughs which had Harry spitting up blood.

Colin beat the boy until he tried to run, and then he beat the boy until he tried to crawl, and he beat the boy, seeing nothing but something to take out his anger and desperation and pain in front of him. Colin didn't realize it was Harry he was hitting until Harry was dead.

"Harry?"

It seemed like an age for calm to finally reach him, but Colin did managed a couple of deep breaths. His pounding headache was back and his eyes were blurred from muck and tears.

He wiped his face, wiped the sweaty hair from his eyes and kneeled by the bloodied mess his Hero was in.

He gently shook the shoulder.

"Harry?" Colin said thickly. The sight before him was not registering. Was not happening, not happening. "Harry?" He asked again, wiping the blood soaked hair out of the beautiful green eyes, eyes full of blood, open eyes, unseeing eyes. "Harry?" Colin stood, taking a step back from the body, he was shaking his head, his hands came to his mouth.

"Harry please?" Colin pleaded, "please. I didn't mean too!"

Colin continued to shake his pounding head, he couldn't see, his vision was swimming.

"I DIDN'T MEAN TOO!" He cried sobs wracked his frame and he looked at the body of his lover once more.

Colin stumbled, grabbing the upright pantry and then he fell, pulling the large cupboard with him in a dead faint.

* * *

Ginny Morris was watching James and Arty play a game. James was five years old, Arty only one and it was frightening to see the boys play because so many times would one of them do something that could nearly kill the other - she appreciated her own mother so much more now.

Arty started to cry, putting James right off and Ginny scooped him up and rocked him gently.

"He's just getting tired," She assured James, who nodded whilst releasing a huge yawn. "You too Jamie?" Ginny asked the little boy who nodded.

"Mum!" James said as she led him to his bedroom.

"Hmmm?"

"Why can't I have a real daddy too?"

Ginny sighed. It wasn't that Palmer didn't treat James like a son, he loved James like his own, but James was the spitting image of his real father, his rather Famous father.

Harry had been declared dead twelve months previously. He had gone missing, and whether he had run off or was taken was never really said, whether he was alive or not never known. They point is no one was looking for him, and Ginny believed he wasn't looking for them.

"You're daddy, your real daddy," Ginny began to her sleepy son, "Was called Harry, and he was a very, very good man, he was so good, everyone else made him solve all their problems, and one day, he needed a break from everyone, and he went on a very long holiday. He was so sad that he had to leave you, James, but Palmer loves you just like a real daddy."

James nodded, and Ginny could tell he didn't understand, nor did he seem upset in the slightest.

"My dad's name is Harry?" James asked. Ginny nodded.

"Harry James Potter."

"I wish my real daddy didn't have to leave me behind." James said with another yawn. Ginny bent down to kiss his head.

"Me too baby, me too."

* * *

Colin awoke surrounded by spirits.

He grabbed a bottle and uncorked it, the pantry had fallen and the alcohol had rolled out. Harry had kept them- hid them. For him.

Colin looked at the bottle. It was _it's_ fault Harry was dead - the headaches and nightmares, shakes and hallucinations, mood swings and unshakable depressions. All the alcohol's fault. But Colin could not stop himself from bringing the bottle to his lips and taking a long, unhealthy swig of the liquid. It was poor quality, and it burned down his throat, leaving an unpleasant aftertaste.

Colin sobbed, he would not look at Harry's body, if he didn't, it could all be a horrible dream. He took another long swig all the while groping around himself to find his next drink.

Bottle after bottle was guzzled down, vodka, rum, whiskey, wine, vodka, rum, whiskey, wine. Colin Creevey fell into a stupor, his confused mind slowed, eventually the iron grip on his bottle was given up and it rolled away from him across the tiles, though the blond man didn't notice.

His skin broke out in goosebumps and still he didn't move, his breathing slowed, his skin slowly tinged blue, his lips went blue, his breathing became irregular and soon Colin shut his tired baby blue eyes, and never woke up again.

But he won Harry Potter, and would have him forever. He took his mind, he took his body and he took his life.


	11. Chapter 11

**Alternate Ending :- from after chapter nine.**

Harry was right. Not only did the withdrawal stop, Colin stopped the violence and the anger and the depression his life was in, everything stopped. Colin went back to work, their house became cleaner, brighter, friendlier.

Colin would go to work everyday, coming home with beautiful photographs of people and places and events, he spent his time brewing his developing potion or cooking for Harry.

It was two whole weeks after the final alcohol headache had passed, and Colin went into Harry's bedroom and cleaned it, he fixed the broken glass and cleaned the bed sheets and replaced all the furniture. The roof where the thick chains had been attached was replaced, the door was replaced and even though Colin's wage was pitiful for his photography, he decorated Harry's room with a large bed and a lovely warm Gryffindor red comforter. Thick blinds were put on the window and the cupboard was filled with clothes and things for Harry.

Harry had never had his own room before, there was the cupboard under the stairs, and Dudley's second bedroom, the dorm and the room he shared with Ron at Grimmauld place, then his and Ginny's bedroom.

The point was it was Harry's room, and Colin didn't come in there anymore, not for anything, Harry's holly wand was even placed on the desk.

Despite all this, Harry was getting angrier and angrier at the other man. Because Colin would barely speak to him anymore.

"Colin," Harry had gently taken the book from the blonde man's hands, making Colin look at him.

"What do you want from me?"

"What?" Colin asked, a confused look on his face.

"What am I doing here, you don't talk to me anymore." Harry asked. His anger faded, and in front of him was the little boy who idolized him. Then that innocent face turned into one of a very sick, very sad man.

"I can't make excuses, what I did to you was unforgivable."

"But you still did it."

"You should go, Harry," Colin said, "I gave you your wand back, I, I shouldn't have, I'm sorry."

Colin was obviously trying to keep it together. His eyes were red and fat tears dripped down his cheeks, but he didn't look away.

"I deserve to die." He told Harry. Harry shook his head.

"No one deserves that," Harry said, "it's, it's alright."

The words were heavy in his mouth and left a foul taste on his tongue, he expected Colin to lash out again, hit him, kill him, now his guilt was alleviated, but none of it happened.

"I'm sorry," Colin said, "go, just go."

Harry hadn't been outside in what felt like years. He was frightened to say the least. He was sure to see something he didn't like. His family have moved on after all, he knew this.

Harry held his hand in a tight fist and apparated with a loud crack.

His first thought was of utter relief, and then disappointment. Ginny and James no longer lived in their old house. Harry couldn't think of a way to find them now. And if he was honest, he didn't want to see them. Colin would just come looking for him again.

Harry didn't want to apparate again. He wanted to be saved. He wanted ... He wanted Colin. Harry's breath became labored, he looked around him but couldn't see. it was so, so bright. why was it so bright?

Harry held his chest. It felt heavy as if all the important things in there had been turned to stone. He looked around again. He knew this place, but it seemed so, so very different.

How long had he been away?

Harry's panic spiked, tears formed in his eyes and he was gasping for breath now, wheezing, choking noises coming from his lips. He wanted to be back inside.

He needed Colin, and Colin needed harry. Why did he leave?

Another glance around the bright street, Harry's vision tunnled, black seeping into the edges. Everything sounded like it was so far away.

He forgot to breathe all together.

Harry bent forward, his legs moving of their own accord to keep him balanced and only serving to move him three steps before he pitched forwards onto the pavement in a dead faint.

Harry woke up in his bed, the red comforter was tucked snugly around him and a cup of tea was sitting on his nightstand.

"How did I get here?" Harry asked, pushing himself up and looking at Colin who was leaning on the doorframe. He had lost a lot of weight and his tall frame was rather shrinking without the big bulbous beer gut he sported months earlier.

"I followed you and brought you back."

Harry laughed. "You know I like it here a bit." Harry shook his head, with his strength back and his wounds healed and his wand safely in his pocket, the wicked, fat and dirty blond man wasn't so frightening anymore, though looking at Colin now, that man was just a memory.

"Stay," Colin said casually, it sounded like he was begging, but Harry knew he had a choice. And the thought of seeing Ginny again frightened him. He nodded.

"I will, but if you ever raise your hand to me again," Harry warned. "I'm leaving."

Colin stared at him with disbelief.

"Harry, you deserved every hit you got, you know that, Hero."

Harry shook his head this time.

"Colin you have a problem, and please, don't call me hero."

"I do not," Colin said, eyes flashing.

"I can see what you're thinking Colin," Harry told him, "Go on, hit me again. Just one more time."

Colin shook his head, though it was reluctant.

"I will-" Colin was interrupted by the loud smack that seemed to echo in the room. Harry drew his fist back, and shook it.

"Harry," Colin warned the older man, but Harry drew his fist back and punched Colin in the face again, and again, in the stomach, in the face, Colin spluttered and cried out, and Harry kicked him, stomped on him, kicked him again. But he did only superficial damage, Colin was curled up on the floor, whimpering.

"I never deserved that, ever, Colin," Harry said, "You told me you would look after me and you hurt me, you hurt me and you lied to me. You have a problem, you have a lot of them, but from now on the deal is, you look after me, and I will stay.

"I'll protect you, Hero," Colin muttered from the floor, a sob escaped his lips and he began to cry. "I'll take care of you, Hero."

Harry sneered at the boy on the floor, and left for his bedroom.

He should leave here. He could find Ginny and James.

* * *

Ginny Morris was watching James and Arty play a game. James was five years old, Arty only one and it was frightening to see the boys play because so many times would one of them do something that could nearly kill the other - she appreciated her own mother so much more now.

Arty started to cry, putting James right off and Ginny scooped him up and rocked him gently.

"He's just getting tired," She assured James, who nodded whilst releasing a huge yawn. "You too Jamie?" Ginny asked the little boy who nodded.

"Mum?" James said as she led him to his bedroom.

"Hmmm?"

"Why can't I have a real daddy too?"

Ginny sighed. It wasn't that Palmer didn't treat James like a son, he loved James like his own, but James was the spitting image of his real father, his rather Famous father. It was the only reason James even knew Palmer wasn't his biological father.

Harry had been declared dead twelve months previously. He had gone missing, and wether he had run off or was taken was never really found out, wether he was alive or not never known. They point is no one was looking for him, and Ginny believed he wasn't looking for them either.

"Your daddy, your real daddy," Ginny began to her sleepy son, "Was called Harry, and he was a very, very good man, he was so good, everyone else made him solve all their problems, and one day, he needed a break from everyone, and he went on a very long holiday. He was so sad that he had to leave you, James, but Palmer loves you just like a real daddy."

James nodded, and Ginny could tell he didn't understand, nor did he seem upset in the slightest.

"My dad's name is Harry?" James asked. Ginny nodded.

"Harry James Potter."

"I wish my real daddy didn't have to leave me behind." James said with another yawn. Ginny bent down to kiss his head.

"Me too baby, me too." Ginny stood and left the boy's room, turning to close the door behind her, she turned again and walked smack bang into a man.

"Palmer?"

"No."

Ginny took a step back, and her eyes went wide, he was much taller than she remembered, and he had some rather horrible scars marring his face. There was stubble on his chin and his hair was down to his shoulders. She looked at his eyes again, the same striking green hidden by the same round glasses.

"Harry." Ginny said, she felt something, but couldn't tell you what it was, exactly. "I thought you were dead."

"Or living in the Bahamas among the muggles, by the sound of it."

"What happened?" Ginny asked reaching out to touch him, but she drew her hand back before it connected.

"I was kidnapped," Harry told her, "I spent the past five years chained to a roof being told that that is where I belong."

"Merlin, Harry, how did you-"

"I thought you would wait for me," Harry said, "I thought you would look for me, Merlin Ginny I was missing for five years and you did nothing?"

"Ginny!"

There was a loud thud and Palmer raced up the hall, he stopped dead in his tracks when he saw Harry, and sneered.

"Back are you?" Palmer asked, Harry sneered at Ginny.

"Yes," he said, "you obviously thought I was dead."

Harry pushed past her into his son's room, it was nearly identical to the room at their old flat, thought he had a proper bed and a lot more toys than usual.

"You have to see-"

"Shhh," Harry shushed Ginny. He put a hand against his head, desperately trying to push back the headache.

"He doesn't need me," Harry said, he crossed the room in two long strides and kissed his son's head. "And after missing for so long, I don't much fancy going back anymore." Harry shook his head, and he pulled his wedding ring off of his left finger.

"No hard feelings," he said, pushing it into Ginny's hand, "I'll write James, visit sometimes." Harry told them, then walked up the hallway and out the door.

"Wait, Harry, where are you going?"

Harry turned back and smiled at them.

"I made an unlikely friend." Harry said.

Harry was sitting in the center of his bed when Colin came in, his face was bruised but he smiled.

"Why are you back?" Colin asked, "you found Ginny?"

"They've moved on," Harry told him, "all of them," Harry shook his head. "I wrote the profit, telling them what happened, that I escaped and am in hiding, that I'm staying with a friend."

"Who?" Colin asked, his face paled, "how long do I have, before, Azkaban, I, Harry I don't want to go to prison, kill me, please, I don't deserve mercy-"

"Colin!" Harry cried, grabbing the other mans shoulders. "You're the friend, I'm staying with you!"

Colin's eyes lit up, and again, Harry saw the innocent, but obsessive little boy that raced around with his camera shooting everything he saw so he could keep it forever.

"You, you want to stay?" Colin asked. Harry nodded.

"You need help, and I don't want to go back, Colin, there's a kind person in there somewhere."

Colin nodded.

"Denis used to tell me that, when the other kids called me creepy, because of my photographs I-"

"It's alright, Col," Harry said, smiling at the handsome man. "It'll be alright."


End file.
